Life on the Interstsate

 A year and a half ago I was in a church I loved, served God with all my heart , worshipped him with all my soul through every aspect of my life. I read everyday,was in a pretty much constant state of prayer, I had a running conversation going with God. Some in the church considered me leadership. I was always a little uncomfortable with that,I was just serving if people wanted to follow that was fine. I guess you could say I was in the fast lane. When things started to change at my old church  I slowed down to  the slow lane . I still read and all the other stuff, but I was holding back in my service. When we left I pretty much got off the highway altogether. Stopping to gas up I guess , at least that’s what I would tell myself. I did none of the things I’m supposed to do. If that sounds like I walked away from God I didn’t , still loved him but I was tired and maybe more hurt than I wanted to believe I was . My communication with him suffered.

 Sunday was a convicting day for me at church. The service was about giving God your best. I wasn’t. I was just ” Doing” church. I was in service during worship and Dave Powers comes up to us and says he wants to pray with us. OK so I asked God quickly what he wanted me to pray for. I heard nothing  not God telling me “nothing” I just didn’t hear God. My mind went blank. It’s not that I don’t have anything to pray for , my wife, my children, numerous ministries, my family, friends, world peace etc. . I was silent , I could sense Dave’s frustration when he prayed for our communication to be better with God. I was pierced. That’s what I love about Dave he has a way of doing that to me. I don’t think he means to, God just uses him to. I heard nothing because I haven’t been talking to God like I used to. Why would he talk to me when I haven’t been talking to , or listening to him. That is  changing as of now.

So here I go down the on ramp. Turn signal blinking. Getting ready to mash the accelerator pedal. Building speed for the merge in…

Note to Dave: Thanks for the kick in the pants. I asked God what I should pray for and this is what’s on my heart. Father thank you for the lessons that you teach me. Thank you for your grace even though I don’t deserve it. Forgive me for turning from you to soothe my pride. Thank you for putting people like Dave in my life they are a blessing and keep me focused on you. I pray for Worship and the Word .Make it grow , use it as a catalyst for revival. Bring the seed money for Heavenfest. Use it to bring people to you. In Jesus name. Amen     Bryan

3 Responses to “Life on the Interstsate”

  1. Man Bry-I can so relate to this. I am still in this state of just “doing” church. God and I are good, I hear Him, I talk to Him and He talks to me. But the service part is nonexistant. I’m hurt too. I want to find something dynamic to be a part of, but don’t want to go hunting for it, and yet don’t feel like God wants me to go anywhere. I feel like he still wants me at the same church, and I just look around and ask myself, “Why? What for?” There is another part of me that wants to stick it out, and think that maybe God wants to use me in some way at this church. I don’t feel like He’s released me, and I am probably not obeying him in something that He needs me to do there. He’s asked me to pray for this church and I am.

    I don’t know. I guess I am confused.

  2. After years of hurt and disappointment and frustration and angst at the thing I love the most: CHURCH, I think I am getting it, maybe, a bit more. It’s Church, big “C,” not church, little “c,” to which God has called me. That opens the door so wide. That says I can be in fellowship and serve along with the entire Body of Christ. It is going to hurt less because the freedom to move and have strong relationships won’t be based on a program that seeks to be able to record all your movements in a church database.

    I am committed to the bride, to the Church, I am in all the way – planted firmly! I submit to overseers who watch over me carefully as those who must give account for my soul. But local church mind games and possessiveness? No more.

    Life! Freedom! It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Oh, we are like the foolish Galatians – who bewitched us again and got us into bondage after we had been set free? The answer to that is, for me: I did it myself. I went willingly. I also imposed bondage on people.

    But how great the grace of the Lord who keeps drawing us! What if serving looks different than we once thought? It comes again when our center is filled. Ministry from anything less than the overflow of what is inside will bankrupt us in a hurry.

  3. See, thats why I have you in my smart people list. I love learning through the trials you’ve been through. I know they were difficult on you but your experiences have made you the person you are today, and given you wisdom I admire greatly.

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