Anatomically Correct Trucks


I’m tired of seeing male genitalia hanging on the back of trucks( just beans  no franks). The other day I saw a set that lit up, the turn signals even work in them. What possesses someone to put these on their vehicle. Maybe they are compensating for something. Besides I’ve always considered my vehicles to be female. Does that mean that I need to have my truck spayed? I would hate to have a litter of sub compacts rolling around. Maybe I should get a pair of these.


 I looked for pictures of the offending items and found that there are web pages that do nothing but sell them. They have every color in the rainbow even chrome. I decided not to show them I didn’t want to make this rated “R”.

It makes me wonder what added maintenance a male truck has. Do you need to wash, dry and shave it? Does the mechanic check the oil , transmission fluid, and have the truck turn it’s head and cough? If it’s broken down does it get a prostate exam? Maybe  it gets a camera put up its tailpipe to see if it has polyps. If I kick it in its man marbles will it fall over on its side with it’s front wheels tucked in between its rear wheels? I bet that would win money on Americas Funniest Videos.

One Response to “Anatomically Correct Trucks”

  1. You know that I hate junk on the back of my vehicle including bumper stickers. And the swinging walnuts are no exception.
    When I see them, they are usually on the big diesel dulies and I also wonder if the guy driving is making up for a lack of…intestinal fortitude…
    Likewise the truckers that have to have their chrome girfriends on their mudflaps.
    Are they all dating the same woman?
    Does her image have to appear over the tires?
    I drove a US Postal Mail truck for years but I wasn’t a trucker.

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