Diminished Glutes, Or I Wanna Talk About My Butt

The weekend before last we spent  a lot of time sitting. On Saturday we went up to Audrey and Ben’s Place to do some repairs on their apartment, that was about an hour and a half of driving. Right after we got home we went to a movie, that was another couple of hours sitting. On Sunday  we went to church , another hour of driving and service was about an hour of sitting on the most uncomfortable chairs on the planet. All this made my tailbone hurt for most of last week. Why do we have a tailbone? What does it do? Why don’t I have enough padding around mine?

When Pearl and I were first married we were in the shower one day and she told me I didn’t have a butt. That suprised me, I know my parents spanked something back there so I must of had one at one time. Where did it go? I’ve tried to see it but I can’t and end up looking like a dog chasing his tail when I try to see it. One of my brothers was born without a pectoral muscle, is it possible I was born without glutes? That would explain why my pants have never seemed to fill up back there. They’re always sagging. In the 70’s, we told to shake our ” groove thing ” you can imagine my embarrassment at not having one.

I saw an episode of King Of The Hill once that explained my condition. Hank Hill was diagnosed with D.G. or Diminished Glutes after experiencing pain when sitting down. He was prescribed, shall we say, butt enhancers to help with his pain. They were basically butt cheeks that he put in his pants. I think I’m going to need those in the future. As you can see Hank and I have similar body types.Tall with short legs, if you could see him from behind you would see he doesn’t have a butt either.

I guess this is what I need to solve my problem.