Adventures With Hotel Furniture

Pearl and I went shopping for furniture at a used hotel furniture store the other day. Actually Pearl went shopping there earlier  in the day and found some nightstands that she liked so we went back to get them. There were a few of the same kind so we were deciding which of the three we were going to buy. One had a scratch on the top another one  had water marks on it. None of that matters because we’re going to paint them.We noticed that the  drawer in one of them wouldn’t slide all the way back in. I pulled the drawer out and looked into the opening. I could see something black in the way, so I reached in and pulled it out. As it came out it unclumped so I could see what it was. I could see it was black and lacy. By now Pearl had noticed what it was and told me, in a panic not to touch it. It was already in my hand, she thought it was a thong and that it probably had cooties. It was a small lacy bra, no cooties.
After we had chosen which nightstands we wanted we decided to look around the store for other treasures. We found an armoire that we liked. We had seen it before but they wanted too much money for it. This time the price had come down. We decided to get it also. After we had paid for the stuff the workers at the store were helping us load the truck. The head guy ,who claimed to have many years of experience, was ordering the other two guys around. Now the armoire is over six foot tall and about four feet wide and is very heavy. It looked like it could be taken apart into two pieces and I pointed it out a couple of times. But I was just the customer and I don’t have many years of experience. The three guys load the armoire into the back of my truck standing straight up, telling me that if they lay it on a side it will break some moulding on it. OK so we move it standing up. While they are loading the nightstands on the end of the truck, I’m putting every strap I own on the armoire. The head guy tells me the he hopes I have a lot of good neighbors at home to move the armoire, I do so that’s not a problem.
The problem is getting home. I own a mid sized truck and this load is very top heavy. We start home and the load feels like it’s going to tip the truck the way it’s loaded so we pull over in a parking lot to adjust it. I take all the straps off and start to move the load around. While the straps are loose the wind starts to pick up and it sprinkles a little bit. Then the wind turns into what can only be described as a micro burst, a very strong straight line wind. I’m still trying to tie down the armoire and hang on for dear life, Pearl is trying to help, but we are getting pummeled with rain and rocks from a nearby field. The wind lasts a couple of minutes, it stops just after I get the straps back on the load. I moved the nightstands up next to the armoire and the load feels more evenly distributed on the truck now. The trip home is a long nervous drive. I drive about ten miles an hour under the speed limit… during rush hour . I’m sure I was very popular with the other drivers. I take every corner VERY slowly, almost at a crawl so I don’t tip my load. It still feels like a catamaran tipped up on one pontoon every time I turn. I tell Pearl I’m not having trouble just being careful. I’m a nervous wreck by the time we get home. I start to back into my driveway and Pearl is afraid I’m going to dump the load when I drive over the curb.That was probably the slowest I have ever driven over it. The load is fine and I can pry my fingers off the steering wheel now and wipe the sweat off my palms.
Before I can get the straps off, my neighbor is over asking if I need help. I tell him yes but I’m going to try to take the thing apart first. Like I said it looks like it will break into two pieces. I start looking for screws and I find them. I take out about eight screws and the armoire is in two pieces and much easier to handle. Two people can handle the weight of each piece. I know I’m not a professional mover but it seems like it would have been a much easier trip for everyone if it was broken down like that in the first place. Like I had suggested.
So next time I go to the hotel furniture store I’m taking tools, just in case.  A little advice for the expert furniture mover, work smarter not harder. And if you are  the girl who lost her bra in the hotel, and you know who you are. It’s in the bottom drawer of the remaining nightstand. I left it there for you.

3 Responses to “Adventures With Hotel Furniture”

  1. Hilarious.

    I L.O.V.E. Hotel Liquidators!!!

  2. You sure looked calm to me. I thought I was the nervious reck. When we got home and you went up the curb and I saw that the thing didn’t even budge I had to shake my head. I prayed before we left and yet we still worried. All that worrying for nothing. We must remember to trust in God.

    It was a funny experiance! Dang you beat me to the blog. xxxooo

  3. Hey hon, when can we go back and get that chaise lounge? soon I hope 🙂

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