A Day In The Life Of Bryan The Dog

This post was inspired by my dog Roddy. I’m trading places with him today.

This morning that thing that makes noise and puts out blue light in the room starts making noise. The blue thing looks like this” 5:00″. Roddy gets up, Mom stays in bed. Roddy goes and gets into that room where Mom washes me, and can you believe it? He washes himself. I sometimes come out of the bedroom and wait for him to come out of that room . When he comes out I nuzzle his hand and go to the back door and scratch it to go out and check out my guard post. Before he lets me out he puts a muzzle on me, it’s uncomfortable but I look kind of tough in it, so it’s cool. All is well outside, I think I’ll help him water and fertilize his grass. Time to go back in. Back to the door to be let back in. I scratch and he lets me back in. While the door is open he gets me some food and takes off the muzzle. I eat and get a drink of water. He’s eating too, his smells better, I’ll go stare at him and maybe he’ll give me some. ” I’m people and I like people food” is what I’m saying  with my eyes. He ignores me so I go back to my food. I’m getting sleepy so he lets me back into the bedroom and I take a nap, he goes to work.

I get up again when mom and Steven get up. I’m still kind of tired so I lay on the floor while they get ready to take Steven to school. Steven comes out of the room where they wash and pets me . I like that. I want more so I kind of lean into him and he pets me some more. AAAAAHHH! That’s good. Mom opens the blinds to let me look out the window and guard the front door. I see someone out the window, should I bark? I’ll wait a minute and see if I recognise him. He’s still coming, but he looks familiar, it…it’s… it’s Kody, Steven’s friend. I start wagging my tail,hard. I like Kody a lot. He pets me. They open the door and let Kody in. I want him to pet me so I jump on him. Mom yells at me for doing that so I just kind of hop around him until he pets me. They’re leaving so mom puts the muzzle on again and puts me outside to guard the house. I pretend I’m Animal Lecter, a mean vicious dog. Hey, my friends are out, I go over to the fence and chat across the yard between us.” Hey hows it going?” I say. They say ” It’s all good, why do you wear that thing on you face?’. I tell them” Well you see, I once had a guy get into my yard and I tore him up so bad they had to identify him with his dental records!”. They shiver with fear. I don’t tell them that I wear it because I have an obsessive compulsive disorder that manifests itself in chewing on everything and I almost died because of it. I see the red car driving up the road that means mom is home. I stand at the fence and whine just to make sure she remembers that I’m outside.

She goes in the front door and after a minute of me scratching the back door she lets me in. I start to sniff her hand and she pets me. AAAAAHHHH! that’s good. I eat and go take a nap on my chair. I let other people use it sometimes, but it’s mine. I sleep for a few hours.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Something wakes me up. I smell something. It’s food! Oh yeah surely she’ll feed me some of her food. I sit and stare at her saying “I’m people and I like people food” with my eyes. She tries to push me away, but I push back hoping  just to get a taste. Hoping she drops a crumb, what was that? she dropped something, it must be food. I start licking the floor in that area and find a little bit of food. OOOHHH Yeah! That was good. I go back to my chair, lick myself and sleep for a few more hours. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I wake up and the thing by the moving picture box says”3:00″. It’s time to go outside again, but this time while I’m outside Steven will come home! While I’m outside I decide to work on that tunnel to China I’ve been digging for a while now. The red car pulls up and I’m standing at the fence wagging my tail in a circular pattern, for some reason they think that is cute, and I see Steven. I get very excited and start to jump and whine for Steven. He goes to the front door I bolt to the back door and scratch for all I’m worth. He opens the door and I’m all over him, I missed him. I go and get as many toys as I can fit into my mouth and start to hint that I want to play. He pets me and plays with me for a few minutes. Then he goes and makes himself some food. I sit and stare at him saying” I like people food, can I have some?” with my eyes. He doesn’t share.

A few minutes later the blue truck pulls up. That means Roddy is home. I get all my toys again and I am waiting at the door when he comes in. He puts down everything he’s carrying and pets me. OOOOOHHH YEAH! I take some pleasure out of it, when you’re neutered you take what you can get. He gets something to eat and I sit and stare at him saying,” I like people food” but he doesn’t share. He does drop a few crumbs though, he’s kind of messy.

Mom makes dinner for them and Roddy gets me my dinner. I take a few bites and then go and stare at all of them while they are eating saying” I like people food and I’m people too”. Mom gets mad and puts some Parmesan cheese on my food. It worked! I finally got some people food. I scarf it down and go to find the crumbs they dropped.

 The evening is winding down now. Steven is playing his box with strings. Mom and Roddy are watching the picture box. I’m laying in between them getting petted by both of them. I roll over and allow them to scratch my belly and it’s good, it’s all good! I drift off to sleep chasing cats and digging holes that go forever. Paradise!

Lucky Dog 2 {The Sequel}

Well on Wednesday our stupid dog started to vomit, repeatedly. He couldn’t even keep down water. We tried to make him fast for the evening, but the next morning he was still sick. I looked up everything I could find on the Internet. Everything pointed to either an infection or a blockage in his intestines. We were hoping for an infection, it could be treated with drugs, the blockage with surgery. We take him to the vet and they do a series of ” radio graphs” or Xrays as they are called when dealing with humans. Of course he had a blockage. All day long that was my fear, the surgery is  expensive and we really don’t have the money for it. Most of the day I felt like the kid in ” Old Yeller” that has to shoot his rabid dog. We decided that he was just too young to put down{ he’s a year old} and we kind of like having him around. We came up with the money for the operation which he has late Thursday night, he’s out at 3:30A.M. We have to pick him up from the emergency clinic that we took him to and take him back to our regular vet at 8:00A.M, to spend the day recovering there. He was still pretty groggy but upright and walking when we took him there. They tell us to call in the evening  to see if he can come home or if we would have to take him back to the clinic for the night. They call us around 4: 30 and tell us he can come home. He’s home and alert and is doing well and we have to babysit him for a few days.

So all it cost was a six inch incision, six inches of intestine, and enough money to buy an older used car to keep our dog. That’s right he lost six inches of intestine. He had a three fourths inch piece of wood stuck in him.

 That’s actually it in the bag. They let us have it like a trophy. I want the intestine too. I paid to have it taken out I should get to see it like when you have you car repaired and they give you back the old parts they took out. Like I said he’s a lucky dog. He’s lucky he has a couple of softies for owners. Most other people I think would probably have  put him down. If it happens again we’ll have to. But he’s family and we love the stupid mutt.

This morning we went out and cleaned up the back yard. While we were out there we let Roddy wander around the yard. The dog starts trying to eat the mulch in the yard. STUPID DOG!!

P.S. You can see his last brush with death here . The look on the Steven and Roddy’s faces when they were reunited kind of makes the cost seem worth it, a little. Steven even asked if he could take Roddy when he moves out.

Lucky Dog

Now that it’s Christmastime I’ve got my house decorated with lights all turned on with a timer. The other night I noticed that they had turned off early.  I went outside to check the timer thinking it was not at the correct time. When I got out there I noticed that the timer was hanging sideways on the house. I followed the cord to the front yard and noticed that Roddy { My dog} had been playing with it . You know doing dog stuff to it, digging around it, pulling on it, and chewing on it. I think he is very lucky the lights are plugged into a GFI outlet, he had tripped the breaker on it. I’m sure he got a little jolt. If it hadn’t  been plugged into that outlet he would have been a crispy critter, or a frizzled furry friend. I think he may have a little cat in him and just spent one of his nine lives. Now the question is should we change his name. Maybe Bolt { as in lightning}, or Jolt, or Shocky, or maybe Sparky? Or maybe Frito because he kind of smells like Fritos when he needs a bath.

I Love My Dog

I was a little tentative about getting Roddy when we decided to get a dog. You know mostly about cleaning up all the poop. But yesterday he made my day. We were barbecuing the traditional hamburger and hot dog Fourth of July meal, Pearl was slicing up some burger toppings and she decided to give Roddy a slice of ( ugh) tomato. Which he quickly snatched up. I was thinking that I was going to have to disown him now for eating the tomato. He wallowed it around in his mouth for a few seconds and promptly spit it out. That’s right, my dog hates tomatoes.The dog that chews through a rawhide bone like a lion through a gazelle won’t eat a tomato. My dog would rather eat a stick than a tomato. My dumb Friend from the Dumb Friends League that thinks cat poop is a snack won’t eat a tomato. I’ve never been so proud of him, It brings a tear to my eye. I love my dog now I think I’ll keep him.

Note to self: Get a new picture of the dog.

Nytis No More

Well we tried Nytis on the puppy and it didn’t seem to fit. OK really we’re just getting senile and could never remember his name. We would have to remember the king in “300” Leonidis and then shorten it to Nytis in our mind before we could call him. It just didn’t flow off the tongue. So we have name 2.0 it is now Roddy. Kind of a cute name, the noble name seemed strange for a goofy puppy. Roddy seems to fit him much better and we can remember it. The  name comes from the movie Flushed Away. It’s the main character’s name. I think he likes it

It’s a Boy! Its a Boy! Baby Pic

Here is a picture we decided to name him Nytis. It’s derived from nitis which means” friend” in Sioux. I thought we should name him Stinky because he needs a bath, but we can’t give him one for a couple of weeks( because of his surgery). Pearl is trying to give him a sponge bath but it seems to only aggravate the kennel smell. It’s going to be a long couple of weeks.

It’s a Boy! Its a Boy!

Everyone thought the next family member was going to be a girl, even the doctors. Well they were all wrong! It’s a boy. His current name is Abner but that will change. He was born about three months ago and weighs about 20 pounds. He’s black, and stocky and fuzzy. He’s a Retriever mixed with, as near as anyone can guess, German Shepard, or Rottweiler, or horse. Who knows, but he’s pretty big for a three month old, but cuuuute! Floppy ears and lots of fur. He had to stay at the Dumb Friends League to be neutered. We pick him up later today so I will post pictures then. Now if we could just think of a name, Abner has got to go. Got any ideas?