Archive for the Family stuff Category

29 Years… When did that happen?

Posted in Family stuff on September 7, 2014 by bpyounger

29 Years ago today I woke up after a short night of restless sleep ,  went through the morning ritual of getting ready with the exception of one thing. I was getting married. I was scared to death. In a day and age when half of the people who said ” I do” only to say ” I don’t” a few years later , how do you make it last? The experts all said marriage is hard work, that was never was one of my strongest suits. Almost all of my siblings had been through a divorce. Plus I was always a screw up, so there is that.

But, I was already blessed. I was, according to my brother, marrying the last good woman on Earth. I had changed my life just to have a chance to be with her. She had helped me find God, who , after all my screwing up was actually right beside me, guiding me to this day. To this woman. The love of my life. My life would be meaningless without her in it.

We went through , after the review of the video tape, possibly the worst wedding ever. Not the one she wanted at all. Our photographer was horrible. The pastor demanded to be paid, I thought he was going to bill me. We had trouble getting into the church. The piano player sounded like she was just learning the ” Wedding March” song. My nephew , the ring bearer, was rolling around on the ground. At the reception I was pretty much French kissed by her Uncle. But we were married.


The experts were wrong. Our marriage hasn’t been hard work , oh sure there have been rough times, mostly my screw ups. But all in all it hasn’t been work. It’s been joy. Without her I wouldn’t have all this.

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or this

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Happy anniversary Pearl. I love you!




Kid # 1

Posted in Family stuff on December 22, 2011 by bpyounger

I’ve been trying to write for several days now and I just couldn’t. This is probably the most painful thing I’ve written about so I’m going to treat it like a band-aid and just rip it off.

I’m the baby of the family or kid # 6. My parents numbered us for fun and it kind of stuck.There’s Janel and Gwen, kids #5 and #4. Greg and Gary kids #3 and #2 and Roger kid #1. Roger passed away last week.

When we were living in Italy Roger and I were roommates. He was in highschool I was in kindergarten. Quite an age gap. I would have to go to bed before him so I would fill his bed whatever toys I had handy. He would come in every night, pull down his covers and clear off his bed before going to sleep. He tolerated an obnoxious 5 year old.

All that time together we bonded,  a bond that seemed closer to him than with my other siblings. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of them with all my heart but Rog and I just fit together. I’ve always looked up to my older brothers. I can remember when I was in fifth grade Gary was a machinist , I thought that was cool so when the class started learning how to do taxes The profession I chose to list was a machinist. When I got into highschool Greg was an electronics technician, I thought that was cool so I took electronics. When I was fifteen one summer I worked for Rog. He was a car painter. I found out that I really liked working with my hands . I also found out that Roger was really an automotive artist. I could sit and watch him pinstripe a car for hours. He ignited a love of old cars that I still have today.

That’s my Uncle’s PT Cruiser that he painted for him. There are many, many modifications on it. Roger did most of them. The car was published in a magazine. I learned from Rog that I could handle tools and make stuff that I could be proud of. I pretty much bombed out of Junior High shop class. But he was patient with me and I learned. If I had chosen a different path in life I would probably have ended up a body man also. I love doing the work, I find it fun. I used to go to his shops all the time to try to do what really turned out to be a hobby for me. Probably too much time.

Over the years I always wanted one of his custom cars but it just never really worked out. He was always trying to teach me and there was just not enough time in my schedule. I can do some of the work, but  I wasn’t able to emulate all of his abilities. I’m just not as talented at it as he was.

Roger was also a very talented artist. The car is the car he was working on at the time of his death. It’s not how the customer wanted it, it’s just what he would have liked to do with it. That’s a scan of a photocopy so there is a lot of detail that was lost in the process. I’m going to borrow some of his other art and scan the originals, I’ll post them later. They are simply amazing.

Well, that was the easy part where I talked about his talents. Now I have to talk about his death. That day I got a call from Gwen telling me he was in intensive care. I knew he had an infection that he wasn’t taking care so I’ve kind of been expecting that. I get to the hospital and and find Rog. I walked in and he thanked me for coming and asked me if I had done anything to my truck. We chatted along those lines for a few minutes and I could see he was tired so I told him to get some rest and I would talk to him in a little while. I found my parents and proceeded to get the real story about his health. From the stuff they were telling me I knew that the outcome was at best going to be maybe an amputation and maybe dialysis. I waited for another chance to go back in to talk to him but he had to go down for an MRI. While he was down there we heard it “CODE BLUE TO MRI”. I knew it was him. The social workers began to show up and they walked my parents, sisters and I down to where they were working on him. I could hear them working , sounds which I never want to hear again. The Doctor came out and calmly told us that he was gone. Just like that, he was gone. Next thing I knew I was standing over his body watching my shell shocked parents try to digest what just happened. I never got to talk to him again. I should have told him I loved him. I tried to be strong for my parents, trying to comfort them. I eventually left the hospital and   I managed to keep it together until I got home . I crumbled in my wife’s arms. The first time she had seen me cry. Through all this she has been my steadying force. I thank God he put her in my life. I needed her.

Roger was kind and generous and almost everyone he met liked him. I miss him and will continue to use the talents he taught me.

25 Years

Posted in Family stuff, Fun Stuff on September 6, 2010 by bpyounger

 On September 7,1985 I married the love of my life. Twenty five years later we’re still here. Still together, still having fun , still in love with each other. I wish I were a better writer, I could write about how wonderful my wife is. How she has loved me when I didn’t derserve it, how she has taken care of me when I was ill, and  how she has always been out of my league.

I wish I were a more romantic husband. I could then come up with a thousand ways to sweep her off her feet.I could  make her feel more loved and more in love with me. I guess I could by her candy, but she is diabetic. I could buy her roses, but they wilt and that’s not a great representation of my undying love for her. We’ll probably go out for a nice dinner someplace, but  I wish there was more. You see my favorite thing in life is just spending time with her. Even if we don’t speak, I feel great comfort just being near her. I get to see her and touch her . I’m quiet, so I probably don’t say it enough, but I love her. With every fiber of my being. I love her. I LOVE HER!

Like I said she’s always been out of my league.

 Happy Anniversary Pearl. Twenty five years and counting.

p.s Do you know why they call it the silver anniversary? That’s what color your hair is when you get to it.


Posted in Family stuff, Serious Stuff on September 7, 2009 by bpyounger

  That’s how many years Pearl and I have been married now. Of all our years together , this has been a tough one. With Pearl’s Dad’s health failing and money being tight. Yep things have been tough this year. But we’re still here, still love each other and are stronger than before the pains of the last year.

   This year we need to take more time for ourselves. With our kids almost grown it’s time for us to rediscover each other. We’ve been parents first and lovers second or even third for a long time now. We need to change that. I’m looking forward to the challenge of rediscovering us. Don’t get me wrong we still have fun and laugh together, it’s just becoming our time again. Before we know it, we’ll be empty nesters and we’ll be alone together again.

  This blog isn’t the most romantic thing I’ve ever written, but it is honest. I love my wife, she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.

I must be a better husband. I’m looking forward to a better year 25. I guess wanting to know my wife better is kind of romantic isn’t it?

Heavenfest 09…My Life Lesson

Posted in Family stuff, Serious Stuff on August 23, 2009 by bpyounger
 On August 8 Heavenfest happened without my help. How was that possible? I mean I’m was supposed to be involved but wasn’t. It was almost painful for me to not be. I’m supposed to leave the event exhausted from work not just exhausted.
 OK I had a really good reason for not being involved. God told us we couldn’t. My Father-In -Law was really ill. Pearl and I were happily making plans for the entrance and other stuff. I was collecting foam for the cutouts that would be placed over the scaffolding, it was going to be spectacular. When one night we were in bed about to fall asleep, Pearl sits upright and says,” We can’t do Heavenfest!” I at first thought she was just having doubts on our abilities(something we do pretty regularly).  But then she started talking about her dad and how he was doing. I could tell God had spoken to her because she was right in everything she said. It turned out that Dad died the weekend before Heavenfest. We spent most of the week before Heavenfest running around to the point of exhaustion trying to make a nice memorial service for him. The running didn’t stop until the the Sunday after. We wouldn’t have had time to give our best effort and our hearts would have been heavy the week of set up.
 That having been said, every time  I walked by this it hurt a little. This was our project. We have never not completed something like this before. I can still see the finished gate in my mind. The swirly borders from  up the sides with the wings and logo across the top, all the scaffolding covered with black cloth. It was going to be SOOO COOL! But God said no.
 The lesson for us was this, Obedience. Plain and simple, Obedience. We didn’t have the time and God knew it. He wanted us to listen to him and to honor our father. Which we did and wouldn’t change what we chose to do. Pearl got to spend her father’s last days with him and not building the gate. Those days were priceless.
 I need to thank Tara and Dave( love those guys, two better people you could never meet). Tara gave us our passes, even though I didn’t feel like we had earned them. Dave drove by us with someone on his cart and said ” There’s some great people I know” right after we had walked past our unfinished gate( I was feeling a little discouraged). I was lifted   just by that comment. I also need to thank the people who were praying for us, we wouldn’t have made it without your prayers.
 Our hearts were still a little heavy from the week and our bodies were exhausted. Pearl and I had to leave before the end. We just ran out of gas. We were asleep on the couch at about 8:30.We missed out on the Sacred Assembly , so wanted to be there for that.
 I can still see the gate in my mind. NEXT YEAR! I still have foam. Did anyone happen to take measurements of the scaffolding???
  p.s. I must earn my passes next year. I loaned my truck to my friend and it had better access than I did!
That’s just not right!!


Posted in Family stuff, Serious Stuff on August 2, 2009 by bpyounger


Well, Pearl’s  father passed Friday after a long fight with what can only be described as old age. One which everyone loses in the end. Pearl was at the house when it happened and got to say one last” I love you dad” before he died.

Dad and I had a rocky start to our relationship, he didn’t want me to date his daughter, but I was determined to. He tried to intimidate me and I wouldn’t be intimidated. Eventually we sat down and talked and he reluctantly let me date her.( a conversation witnessed by Pearl’s brother and sister and still lives in family lore)  I think all he really wanted was someone to look him back in the eye and tell him they weren’t  going to hurt her.

I owe a lot to him . He didn’t think I was good enough  for his daughter , he was right. I needed to change some things in my life. A couple of years later while Pearl and I were dating I was losing my job. I tried to apply at Sysco, but they wouldn’t even give me an application. He got an application for me and hand carried it to the superintendent that hired me.  He got me the job I now hold twenty four years later. So he helped Pearl and I provide for our family.

In the past twenty seven years Dad became a man that I loved with all my heart , a man that helped me become the father I am. A man that I am proud to have been told ” I love you hito” by. I loved him to. I really feel that I became one of his kids. I miss him.

Ally is One Today!!

Posted in Family stuff, Fun Stuff on April 30, 2009 by bpyounger

Happy birthday Ally!! We are so glad you came into our lives. I had forgotten how much fun it is to have a little person crawling around with you.G’ma and G’pa love you very much!