29 Years… When did that happen?

29 Years ago today I woke up after a short night of restless sleep ,  went through the morning ritual of getting ready with the exception of one thing. I was getting married. I was scared to death. In a day and age when half of the people who said ” I do” only to say ” I don’t” a few years later , how do you make it last? The experts all said marriage is hard work, that was never was one of my strongest suits. Almost all of my siblings had been through a divorce. Plus I was always a screw up, so there is that.

But, I was already blessed. I was, according to my brother, marrying the last good woman on Earth. I had changed my life just to have a chance to be with her. She had helped me find God, who , after all my screwing up was actually right beside me, guiding me to this day. To this woman. The love of my life. My life would be meaningless without her in it.

We went through , after the review of the video tape, possibly the worst wedding ever. Not the one she wanted at all. Our photographer was horrible. The pastor demanded to be paid, I thought he was going to bill me. We had trouble getting into the church. The piano player sounded like she was just learning the ” Wedding March” song. My nephew , the ring bearer, was rolling around on the ground. At the reception I was pretty much French kissed by her Uncle. But we were married.

The experts were wrong. Our marriage hasn’t been hard work , oh sure there have been rough times, mostly my screw ups. But all in all it hasn’t been work. It’s been joy. Without her I wouldn’t have all this.

or this

Happy anniversary Pearl. I love you!

 

 

Kid # 1

I’ve been trying to write for several days now and I just couldn’t. This is probably the most painful thing I’ve written about so I’m going to treat it like a band-aid and just rip it off.

I’m the baby of the family or kid # 6. My parents numbered us for fun and it kind of stuck.There’s Janel and Gwen, kids #5 and #4. Greg and Gary kids #3 and #2 and Roger kid #1. Roger passed away last week.

When we were living in Italy Roger and I were roommates. He was in highschool I was in kindergarten. Quite an age gap. I would have to go to bed before him so I would fill his bed whatever toys I had handy. He would come in every night, pull down his covers and clear off his bed before going to sleep. He tolerated an obnoxious 5 year old.

All that time together we bonded,  a bond that seemed closer to him than with my other siblings. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of them with all my heart but Rog and I just fit together. I’ve always looked up to my older brothers. I can remember when I was in fifth grade Gary was a machinist , I thought that was cool so when the class started learning how to do taxes The profession I chose to list was a machinist. When I got into highschool Greg was an electronics technician, I thought that was cool so I took electronics. When I was fifteen one summer I worked for Rog. He was a car painter. I found out that I really liked working with my hands . I also found out that Roger was really an automotive artist. I could sit and watch him pinstripe a car for hours. He ignited a love of old cars that I still have today.

That’s my Uncle’s PT Cruiser that he painted for him. There are many, many modifications on it. Roger did most of them. The car was published in a magazine. I learned from Rog that I could handle tools and make stuff that I could be proud of. I pretty much bombed out of Junior High shop class. But he was patient with me and I learned. If I had chosen a different path in life I would probably have ended up a body man also. I love doing the work, I find it fun. I used to go to his shops all the time to try to do what really turned out to be a hobby for me. Probably too much time.

Over the years I always wanted one of his custom cars but it just never really worked out. He was always trying to teach me and there was just not enough time in my schedule. I can do some of the work, but  I wasn’t able to emulate all of his abilities. I’m just not as talented at it as he was.

Roger was also a very talented artist. The car is the car he was working on at the time of his death. It’s not how the customer wanted it, it’s just what he would have liked to do with it. That’s a scan of a photocopy so there is a lot of detail that was lost in the process. I’m going to borrow some of his other art and scan the originals, I’ll post them later. They are simply amazing.

Well, that was the easy part where I talked about his talents. Now I have to talk about his death. That day I got a call from Gwen telling me he was in intensive care. I knew he had an infection that he wasn’t taking care so I’ve kind of been expecting that. I get to the hospital and and find Rog. I walked in and he thanked me for coming and asked me if I had done anything to my truck. We chatted along those lines for a few minutes and I could see he was tired so I told him to get some rest and I would talk to him in a little while. I found my parents and proceeded to get the real story about his health. From the stuff they were telling me I knew that the outcome was at best going to be maybe an amputation and maybe dialysis. I waited for another chance to go back in to talk to him but he had to go down for an MRI. While he was down there we heard it “CODE BLUE TO MRI”. I knew it was him. The social workers began to show up and they walked my parents, sisters and I down to where they were working on him. I could hear them working , sounds which I never want to hear again. The Doctor came out and calmly told us that he was gone. Just like that, he was gone. Next thing I knew I was standing over his body watching my shell shocked parents try to digest what just happened. I never got to talk to him again. I should have told him I loved him. I tried to be strong for my parents, trying to comfort them. I eventually left the hospital and   I managed to keep it together until I got home . I crumbled in my wife’s arms. The first time she had seen me cry. Through all this she has been my steadying force. I thank God he put her in my life. I needed her.

Roger was kind and generous and almost everyone he met liked him. I miss him and will continue to use the talents he taught me.

25 Years

 On September 7,1985 I married the love of my life. Twenty five years later we’re still here. Still together, still having fun , still in love with each other. I wish I were a better writer, I could write about how wonderful my wife is. How she has loved me when I didn’t derserve it, how she has taken care of me when I was ill, and  how she has always been out of my league.

I wish I were a more romantic husband. I could then come up with a thousand ways to sweep her off her feet.I could  make her feel more loved and more in love with me. I guess I could by her candy, but she is diabetic. I could buy her roses, but they wilt and that’s not a great representation of my undying love for her. We’ll probably go out for a nice dinner someplace, but  I wish there was more. You see my favorite thing in life is just spending time with her. Even if we don’t speak, I feel great comfort just being near her. I get to see her and touch her . I’m quiet, so I probably don’t say it enough, but I love her. With every fiber of my being. I love her. I LOVE HER!

Like I said she’s always been out of my league.

 Happy Anniversary Pearl. Twenty five years and counting.

p.s Do you know why they call it the silver anniversary? That’s what color your hair is when you get to it.

24

  That’s how many years Pearl and I have been married now. Of all our years together , this has been a tough one. With Pearl’s Dad’s health failing and money being tight. Yep things have been tough this year. But we’re still here, still love each other and are stronger than before the pains of the last year.

   This year we need to take more time for ourselves. With our kids almost grown it’s time for us to rediscover each other. We’ve been parents first and lovers second or even third for a long time now. We need to change that. I’m looking forward to the challenge of rediscovering us. Don’t get me wrong we still have fun and laugh together, it’s just becoming our time again. Before we know it, we’ll be empty nesters and we’ll be alone together again.

  This blog isn’t the most romantic thing I’ve ever written, but it is honest. I love my wife, she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.

I must be a better husband. I’m looking forward to a better year 25. I guess wanting to know my wife better is kind of romantic isn’t it?

Heavenfest 09…My Life Lesson

 On August 8 Heavenfest happened without my help. How was that possible? I mean I’m was supposed to be involved but wasn’t. It was almost painful for me to not be. I’m supposed to leave the event exhausted from work not just exhausted.

 OK I had a really good reason for not being involved. God told us we couldn’t. My Father-In -Law was really ill. Pearl and I were happily making plans for the entrance and other stuff. I was collecting foam for the cutouts that would be placed over the scaffolding, it was going to be spectacular. When one night we were in bed about to fall asleep, Pearl sits upright and says,” We can’t do Heavenfest!” I at first thought she was just having doubts on our abilities(something we do pretty regularly).  But then she started talking about her dad and how he was doing. I could tell God had spoken to her because she was right in everything she said. It turned out that Dad died the weekend before Heavenfest. We spent most of the week before Heavenfest running around to the point of exhaustion trying to make a nice memorial service for him. The running didn’t stop until the the Sunday after. We wouldn’t have had time to give our best effort and our hearts would have been heavy the week of set up.

 That having been said, every time  I walked by this it hurt a little. This was our project. We have never not completed something like this before. I can still see the finished gate in my mind. The swirly borders from Heavenfest.com  up the sides with the wings and logo across the top, all the scaffolding covered with black cloth. It was going to be SOOO COOL! But God said no.

 The lesson for us was this, Obedience. Plain and simple, Obedience. We didn’t have the time and God knew it. He wanted us to listen to him and to honor our father. Which we did and wouldn’t change what we chose to do. Pearl got to spend her father’s last days with him and not building the gate. Those days were priceless.

 I need to thank Tara and Dave( love those guys, two better people you could never meet). Tara gave us our passes, even though I didn’t feel like we had earned them. Dave drove by us with someone on his cart and said ” There’s some great people I know” right after we had walked past our unfinished gate( I was feeling a little discouraged). I was lifted   just by that comment. I also need to thank the people who were praying for us, we wouldn’t have made it without your prayers.

 Our hearts were still a little heavy from the week and our bodies were exhausted. Pearl and I had to leave before the end. We just ran out of gas. We were asleep on the couch at about 8:30.We missed out on the Sacred Assembly , so wanted to be there for that.

 I can still see the gate in my mind. NEXT YEAR! I still have foam. Did anyone happen to take measurements of the scaffolding???

  p.s. I must earn my passes next year. I loaned my truck to my friend and it had better access than I did!

That’s just not right!!

Pa-In-Law

Well, Pearl’s  father passed Friday after a long fight with what can only be described as old age. One which everyone loses in the end. Pearl was at the house when it happened and got to say one last” I love you dad” before he died.

Dad and I had a rocky start to our relationship, he didn’t want me to date his daughter, but I was determined to. He tried to intimidate me and I wouldn’t be intimidated. Eventually we sat down and talked and he reluctantly let me date her.( a conversation witnessed by Pearl’s brother and sister and still lives in family lore)  I think all he really wanted was someone to look him back in the eye and tell him they weren’t  going to hurt her.

I owe a lot to him . He didn’t think I was good enough  for his daughter , he was right. I needed to change some things in my life. A couple of years later while Pearl and I were dating I was losing my job. I tried to apply at Sysco, but they wouldn’t even give me an application. He got an application for me and hand carried it to the superintendent that hired me.  He got me the job I now hold twenty four years later. So he helped Pearl and I provide for our family.

In the past twenty seven years Dad became a man that I loved with all my heart , a man that helped me become the father I am. A man that I am proud to have been told ” I love you hito” by. I loved him to. I really feel that I became one of his kids. I miss him.

Ally is One Today!!

Happy birthday Ally!! We are so glad you came into our lives. I had forgotten how much fun it is to have a little person crawling around with you.G’ma and G’pa love you very much!

Origins Of Obnoxiousness

Some of you may be wondering,” How did Bryan turn out like this?”. This is my family history of humor.

It starts, as near as I can tell, with my grandparents. They used to have the family over for barbeque’s. By family I mean their kids, grand kids, cousins, their cousins kids, aunts, uncles, etc. During the event my grandfather would wear an apron my grandmother made for him. From all appearances it was a normal apron, until you lifted it. Under it was…a.. umm.. well let’s just say it made grandpa anatomically correct! Grandma made other things like that, neck pillows that looked like breasts, I got one of those when I was in my twenties, and cozies for ..well..lets just say grandpa’s apron never got cold.

That theme continued all the way through my family . Uncles , aunts, cousins, everyone was a little off. I have an uncle that to me looks like Hoss Cartright from Bonanza. At family reunions he would wear a hat that resembled a ten gallon hat. In the hat he would place the tail of the pig we happened to be roasting. I can remember my Uncle Kenny, when I was 8 or 9 telling me to take the frog I just caught to his wife and show it to her because she ” Liked Frogs”. Needless to say she didn’t and ran away screaming. People have been running from me ever since. My uncle Kenny has an artificial leg, he used to let us put change in the hole in the side of it. He said that was how he made his living. He would also sit on the floor and tell the kids that didn’t know he had a fake leg to pull on it . He would let out a scream when it came off and scare the poor kid half to death.

I recently went to my Uncle Oscar’s funeral. Another funny guy. At the gathering afterwards I was sitting next to my grand- niece Renee. I of course was picking on her like I have been taught. I would tap on her back and when she turned around I would tell her it was the octogenarian behind her doing it. After a while the old man behind her joined in and she didn’t believe me that I wasn’t the one doing the tapping anymore. I told her'”That old man behind you is one of the most obnoxious people here”. It was my Uncle Kenny. Renee didn’t stand a chance.

The obnoxiousness runs strong in my family. My grandparents had it, my parents have it, I have it, my kids have it. The world is in trouble.

A Day In The Life Of Bryan The Dog

This post was inspired by my dog Roddy. I’m trading places with him today.

This morning that thing that makes noise and puts out blue light in the room starts making noise. The blue thing looks like this” 5:00″. Roddy gets up, Mom stays in bed. Roddy goes and gets into that room where Mom washes me, and can you believe it? He washes himself. I sometimes come out of the bedroom and wait for him to come out of that room . When he comes out I nuzzle his hand and go to the back door and scratch it to go out and check out my guard post. Before he lets me out he puts a muzzle on me, it’s uncomfortable but I look kind of tough in it, so it’s cool. All is well outside, I think I’ll help him water and fertilize his grass. Time to go back in. Back to the door to be let back in. I scratch and he lets me back in. While the door is open he gets me some food and takes off the muzzle. I eat and get a drink of water. He’s eating too, his smells better, I’ll go stare at him and maybe he’ll give me some. ” I’m people and I like people food” is what I’m saying  with my eyes. He ignores me so I go back to my food. I’m getting sleepy so he lets me back into the bedroom and I take a nap, he goes to work.

I get up again when mom and Steven get up. I’m still kind of tired so I lay on the floor while they get ready to take Steven to school. Steven comes out of the room where they wash and pets me . I like that. I want more so I kind of lean into him and he pets me some more. AAAAAHHH! That’s good. Mom opens the blinds to let me look out the window and guard the front door. I see someone out the window, should I bark? I’ll wait a minute and see if I recognise him. He’s still coming, but he looks familiar, it…it’s… it’s Kody, Steven’s friend. I start wagging my tail,hard. I like Kody a lot. He pets me. They open the door and let Kody in. I want him to pet me so I jump on him. Mom yells at me for doing that so I just kind of hop around him until he pets me. They’re leaving so mom puts the muzzle on again and puts me outside to guard the house. I pretend I’m Animal Lecter, a mean vicious dog. Hey, my friends are out, I go over to the fence and chat across the yard between us.” Hey hows it going?” I say. They say ” It’s all good, why do you wear that thing on you face?’. I tell them” Well you see, I once had a guy get into my yard and I tore him up so bad they had to identify him with his dental records!”. They shiver with fear. I don’t tell them that I wear it because I have an obsessive compulsive disorder that manifests itself in chewing on everything and I almost died because of it. I see the red car driving up the road that means mom is home. I stand at the fence and whine just to make sure she remembers that I’m outside.

She goes in the front door and after a minute of me scratching the back door she lets me in. I start to sniff her hand and she pets me. AAAAAHHHH! that’s good. I eat and go take a nap on my chair. I let other people use it sometimes, but it’s mine. I sleep for a few hours.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Something wakes me up. I smell something. It’s food! Oh yeah surely she’ll feed me some of her food. I sit and stare at her saying “I’m people and I like people food” with my eyes. She tries to push me away, but I push back hoping  just to get a taste. Hoping she drops a crumb, what was that? she dropped something, it must be food. I start licking the floor in that area and find a little bit of food. OOOHHH Yeah! That was good. I go back to my chair, lick myself and sleep for a few more hours. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I wake up and the thing by the moving picture box says”3:00″. It’s time to go outside again, but this time while I’m outside Steven will come home! While I’m outside I decide to work on that tunnel to China I’ve been digging for a while now. The red car pulls up and I’m standing at the fence wagging my tail in a circular pattern, for some reason they think that is cute, and I see Steven. I get very excited and start to jump and whine for Steven. He goes to the front door I bolt to the back door and scratch for all I’m worth. He opens the door and I’m all over him, I missed him. I go and get as many toys as I can fit into my mouth and start to hint that I want to play. He pets me and plays with me for a few minutes. Then he goes and makes himself some food. I sit and stare at him saying” I like people food, can I have some?” with my eyes. He doesn’t share.

A few minutes later the blue truck pulls up. That means Roddy is home. I get all my toys again and I am waiting at the door when he comes in. He puts down everything he’s carrying and pets me. OOOOOHHH YEAH! I take some pleasure out of it, when you’re neutered you take what you can get. He gets something to eat and I sit and stare at him saying,” I like people food” but he doesn’t share. He does drop a few crumbs though, he’s kind of messy.

Mom makes dinner for them and Roddy gets me my dinner. I take a few bites and then go and stare at all of them while they are eating saying” I like people food and I’m people too”. Mom gets mad and puts some Parmesan cheese on my food. It worked! I finally got some people food. I scarf it down and go to find the crumbs they dropped.

 The evening is winding down now. Steven is playing his box with strings. Mom and Roddy are watching the picture box. I’m laying in between them getting petted by both of them. I roll over and allow them to scratch my belly and it’s good, it’s all good! I drift off to sleep chasing cats and digging holes that go forever. Paradise!

Lucky Dog 2 {The Sequel}

Well on Wednesday our stupid dog started to vomit, repeatedly. He couldn’t even keep down water. We tried to make him fast for the evening, but the next morning he was still sick. I looked up everything I could find on the Internet. Everything pointed to either an infection or a blockage in his intestines. We were hoping for an infection, it could be treated with drugs, the blockage with surgery. We take him to the vet and they do a series of ” radio graphs” or Xrays as they are called when dealing with humans. Of course he had a blockage. All day long that was my fear, the surgery is  expensive and we really don’t have the money for it. Most of the day I felt like the kid in ” Old Yeller” that has to shoot his rabid dog. We decided that he was just too young to put down{ he’s a year old} and we kind of like having him around. We came up with the money for the operation which he has late Thursday night, he’s out at 3:30A.M. We have to pick him up from the emergency clinic that we took him to and take him back to our regular vet at 8:00A.M, to spend the day recovering there. He was still pretty groggy but upright and walking when we took him there. They tell us to call in the evening  to see if he can come home or if we would have to take him back to the clinic for the night. They call us around 4: 30 and tell us he can come home. He’s home and alert and is doing well and we have to babysit him for a few days.

So all it cost was a six inch incision, six inches of intestine, and enough money to buy an older used car to keep our dog. That’s right he lost six inches of intestine. He had a three fourths inch piece of wood stuck in him.

 That’s actually it in the bag. They let us have it like a trophy. I want the intestine too. I paid to have it taken out I should get to see it like when you have you car repaired and they give you back the old parts they took out. Like I said he’s a lucky dog. He’s lucky he has a couple of softies for owners. Most other people I think would probably have  put him down. If it happens again we’ll have to. But he’s family and we love the stupid mutt.

This morning we went out and cleaned up the back yard. While we were out there we let Roddy wander around the yard. The dog starts trying to eat the mulch in the yard. STUPID DOG!!

P.S. You can see his last brush with death here . The look on the Steven and Roddy’s faces when they were reunited kind of makes the cost seem worth it, a little. Steven even asked if he could take Roddy when he moves out.